Oh, how things have changed since I last checked in. It feels like my life completely flipped upside down and my routine as well, but it’s a good thing.
I am finding time to enjoy life again.
I miss my old life just a teensy-weensy bit… really only the people (ok, I do miss the technology too)… but with Facebook and social media it makes it easier to stay in touch. I can talk an earful about the new job, but I’ll save that for another post. Now that I am easing into a schedule, I am starting to find time to write again. And since I am not glued to a keyboard and phone nowadays, I actually like sitting down in front of my home computer. Crazy, right?
On the adoption front…
Mr. X and I had another (required) class this week. The topic was “Birth Parents” and all that happens from the other side’s perspective. A young lady, a birth mom, was a guest at the class. She was well-spoken, not at all what I expected. She told her story and how she came to choose adoption at age 20. It wasn’t a perfect story (what is really…) but the net of it being kind of awesome. She and the adoptive family have a very open arrangement which, at first, was definitely not the intent early on. But because the agency acted as the go-between and safe zone, what started out as an almost-closed adoption evolved into a very open adoption. This particular birthmom is now engaged, has a career, and an extended family which includes the couple she chose to parent her child.
I sat there and instantly wished she was my birth mom. At the very least, I hope to have that same kind of natural connection when the day comes.
Being a guarded person, I’ll admit to having doubts early on around a very open arrangement (Mr. X too), but the more I see and learn I do find that there are so many positives. Of course, the large variable is the people involved and how they mesh. And, since it is a two-way street, both adoptive parent and birth parent have to be willing. But from what I have witnessed, it appears that sometimes crazy, random circumstances lead up to situations that just “feel right”, and darn if I don’t run into people all the time that tell me fate played a role in their adoption story. I will be okay either way, but now I am wishing/hoping for the situation that feels great for everyone.
It was nice to have the class occur right now because, truthfully, now that we are just waiting it’s something I try not to think or obssess about a lot. I’m not fanatically cleaning our spare room. I have no desire to shop for anything baby-related. I’m not putting off vacations or plans. Not even attempting to guesstimate when or how our profile will be shown (although the agency still arranges “the list” each month and tells us our numerical position, as if that really matters).
The class served to draw us back into the fold and renewed our feelings that we are waiting for something so, so good. Instead of impatience, I am remaining very optimistic that someday soon great things are going to happen.
Because, eventually, they will.
We attended a similar seminar with 4 birth moms present. It was the single biggest defining moment for our acceptance of openness within our adoption. It shattered every negative stereo-type I had in my mind, all in 1 evening.
Glad to hear it was a positive experience for you guys as well.