I started writing a post over at my Blogger blog, and I got frustrated because I still can’t find a decent app to blog from my iPad. I’ve considered, many times, moving that one to WordPress, but I just am intimidated by the process. I need to enlist one of my blogging buddies to help, and use my domain name. I’m such an idiot, I have the .net and .com names for my blog, but other than forwarding to the blogspot address, I am dead in the water.
So here I am, and I am betting I’ll be writing a lot more over here. It feels so nice and cozy in the world of no ads and anonymity. Heh.
So, life is going. I am trying hard to adjust, realizing that I must make a deal with myself that I cannot rock the boat until after the New Year. Even though my stress level has increased a bit (again) I am trying to look to the bright side. I have an income, and I still have free time. I’ve been getting home around 3:30 to get Turtle off the bus, and I get a head start making dinner and helping him with his homework.
With my flexible schedule, I did something very outside my comfort zone… I threw my name in to be a room parent for Turtle’s classroom. I want to be more involved with the moms at my son’s school. To be honest, being a parent of one child in this particular private school is like being invisible. I think the average family has 4 kids, so we stand out like a sore thumb. I’ve always felt “out of the loop” first as a working mom, but the infertility just sort of blew that up 100 times over.
I’m lonely. I really need to reach out and connect with other women. I needed a plan to break into the “inner circle” at Turtle’s school so I don’t feel so alone at school functions… but I was always holding back… worried… what if I am always standing on the outside looking in?
So back to the story, yep, I sent in the paper saying “Yes! I want to volunteer.” And you know what I got?
Crickets.
Nope, they don’t want me. Geez, what a massive blow to my already bruised ego. Not even an official NAY, just silence.
I lost sleep on this. It pisses me off to no end that even if I try REALLY HARD I seem not to get any further than a footstep. Such is my life lately, my family for that matter.
Oh how the mighty have fallen. One day a corporate maven with people flocking to me, now a working mom for a small family business that can’t get the time of day from the cool kids.
It’s sad, really. And not funny ha-ha. Funny, like I want to cry.
These are the days I feel low.
